🏆 "Let Them": The Mindset Every Leader Needs

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Basketball coaches today are putting more of an emphasis on building relationships and creating positive experiences for their team. However, it can be challenging to set and maintain boundaries. 

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💭 ONE THOUGHT
Let Them…

Three Coaching Truths: 

• You can’t force people to care.

• You can’t make them buy in.

• You can’t control their actions.

And if you try? You’ll exhaust yourself in the process.

This past weekend, my daughter was home from college, and we got to talking about leadership and coaching.

She mentioned a podcast from Mel Robbins (link below) about the 'Let Them Theory.'

I had not heard of it before, and I was intrigued.

I listened to the podcast, and then we spent a good 45 minutes discussing it. We talked about how the Let Them Theory applies to all aspects of life, and I took it a step further—thinking about how it relates to coaching and leadership.

This episode breaks down the Let Them Theory—a simple but powerful mindset shift that frees you from the frustration of trying to control others.

Mel Robbins explains it like this: Instead of getting stuck trying to convince, change, or chase people, just let them make their own choices.

• Let them leave.

• Let them doubt you.

• Let them show you who they are.

And then? You respond accordingly.

Why This Matters for Coaches & Leaders

Coaching is personal. You invest in your players, your staff, and your culture.

So when someone doesn’t buy in, it’s frustrating.

But here’s the hard truth: You can’t want it more than they do.

Too often, coaches waste energy trying to force people to see the vision. Instead, try this:

• Let them decide. Give them the choice to commit or not.

• Let them own their actions. If they don’t work hard, let them experience the consequences.

• Let them leave if they’re not bought in. Don’t beg. Build for those who are all in.

This mindset isn't just theory—it applies directly to coaching.

Here’s a real-world example:

Imagine you have a player who clearly has talent but refuses to put in the effort. They show up late, coast through drills and don’t engage in your team culture. You’ve had conversations with them, set clear expectations, and even tried motivating them in different ways. Yet, nothing changes.

Instead of constantly chasing and trying to pull effort out of them, apply the Let Them Theory. 

Let them make their own decision about their level of commitment. If they continue to disengage, allow the natural consequences to take effect—less playing time, fewer leadership opportunities, and ultimately, being left behind as the team moves forward.

What happens?

One of two things: Either they realize what they’re losing and decide to step up, or they continue down the same path, and the team grows stronger without them.

What “Let Them” is NOT

• 🚫 It’s NOT about giving up on people.

• 🚫 It’s NOT about being passive.

• 🚫 It’s NOT about letting poor culture slide.

It’s about focusing your energy on those who are ready. It’s about setting standards, not chasing buy-in.

How to Apply This Today

1. Identify where you're forcing things. A player? A staff member? A situation?

2. Ask yourself: What happens if I stop chasing? Will it naturally resolve?

3. Let them show you. Their actions will tell you everything you need to know.

Final Thought

The best teams aren’t built on forcing people to buy in. They’re built on standards, accountability, and choice.

So the next time you find yourself frustrated, step back and remind yourself: Let them.

• Watch the FULL Podcast Here!

• Get the Book Here!

Good Luck!
Greg

P.S. Want to develop stronger leaders on your team? Team Leader OS gives you a complete system with leadership lessons, team exercises, and real-world strategies to help your athletes lead with confidence. Check it out today!

🔗 LINKS FOR LEADERS

🎥 WATCH: Coach K to LeBron – “Look me in the eye” [LINK]

🆇 ICYMI: Bill Parcells GOLD - A coaching classic [LINK]

📩 NEWSLETTER: The 3 Energies of Champions [LINK]

🎙️LISTEN: Mel Robbins & Jay Shetty on “Let Them”[LINK]

📜 TWO QUOTES

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