🏆 The #1 Rule for Coaches

Leaders and Coaches. This rule is for you.

Author

Greg Berge
December 07, 2023

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💭 ONE THOUGHT
The #1 Rule for Coaches

Leaders and coaches. This rule is for you.

If you are going to coach or be in a leadership role, there are a few things for sure.

  1. You must have thick skin.

  2. You need to be able to handle conflict.

  3. You must be confident in your abilities.

We live in a world where coaches and leaders get criticized more than ever. It is sad and unfortunate, but it is what it is.

I wrote about this criticism a while back, using the excellent speech by Teddy Roosevelt, “The Man in the Arena,” as the foundation. If you have not seen it, check it out below.

🏆 The Man in the Arena

As coaches, athletes, and leaders, we can all relate. There are so many critics out there in today’s world, especially with the advent of social media.

gregberge.beehiiv.com/p/man-arena-13f5

How we respond to these challenges and how we let them impact us defines if a leader or coach is able to stay in this profession for more than a few years.

Coaches must be able to understand and navigate through the #1 Rule for Coaches: The 20-40-60 Rule.

What is the 20-40-60 Rule?

  1. In your 20s, you worry about what others think of you.

  2. In your 40s, you don’t care what others think about you.

  3. In your 60s, you realize people were too busy thinking about themselves.

As a leader or coach, the sooner you work through these steps, the better.

STAGE #1 (the 20s)...

It is very typical to be in your 20s and worry about what others think. I was there, and I can attest to this. I became a varsity basketball coach at 26 years old and replaced a Hall of Fame legend with 600 wins.

At first, I would see parents or others in the community, and I would wonder what their perception of me was. I was extra conscious of how I acted and what I said to others.

Fortunately, it did not take me long to figure out that I can not really care what others think of me.

It would only hurt my ability to coach and reach the goals we had for our team.

I was able to move to the "40s" mindset pretty quickly in my career.

STAGE #2 (the 40s)…

I was confident in my abilities and decisions, and nothing that others could say or do could affect that. I had a trusting support system of other coaches and leaders who I could turn to for insight and support.

The key is confidence.

I had "earned the right to be proud and confident.”

I had put in the time and effort. I set clear standards. I communicated well with players, parents, and the community. I knew my decisions were sound and based on what was best for the team.

I focused on creating and maintaining a winning culture. Culture Wins in the good times and the tough times.

This quick jump to a “40s mindset” allowed me to have success as a coach.

It also allowed me to get into another leadership position, school administration, at a young age as well. I became a high school principal at age 33. And the 20-40-60 rule applied even more.

Many coaches and leaders struggle with these steps…

Some coaches/leaders, though, are not able to navigate through the 20-40-60 Rule as quickly.

They often don't last very long in their roles. They get out of coaching or leadership roles. They fear conversations with their parents. They avoid others. They avoid conflict.

Too many times, these leaders or coaches are natural "people pleasers.”

They see good in the world and assume or hope that everyone should think and feel that way. They do not like conflict. Unfortunately, it is impossible to hide conflict from the role of a coach or leader. It is inevitable.

Leaders and Coaches have to have a healthy approach to addressing conflict. Having a 20-40-60 Rule mindset helps a leader overcome these natural challenges of trying to make others happy.

STAGE #3 (the 60s)…

The beauty occurs when you reach the final stage of the 20-40-60 rule. This is the stage when you realize people were too busy thinking about themselves.

I am not near 60 yet, but I realized this “60 mindset” years ago.

As much as I thought others were thinking about me, our team, or any leadership decision I make as a coach or principal, the reality is that they are not.

They have busy lives, and most people are too busy and self-absorbed about their own families and lives to worry about a coach or leader.

And even if they are, who really cares? All we can ever control is ourselves.

I have learned Always to REMEMBER: No one is thinking about you harder than you are thinking about yourself.

Get through the 20-40-60 Rule early in your coaching career and enjoy more happiness, peace of mind, and success.

Good Luck!

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📜 TWO QUOTES

"Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision." 

- Muhammed Ali

"The best moti/vation always comes from within." 

- Michael Johnson (Gold Medal Sprinter)

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