20-40-60 Rule for Coaches and Leaders

July 30, 2022

Great Teams - Better Leaders - 123. 1 Thought; 2 Quotes; 3 Tweets. Newsletter about Leadership, Culture, Teams, and Success.

ONE THOUGHT...

The 20-40-60 RULE

Leaders and Coaches. This Rule is for YOU.

  1. In your 20’s you worry about what others think of you.

  2. In your 40's you don’t care what others think about you.

  3. In your 60's you realize people were too busy thinking about themselves.

As a leader or coach, the SOONER you go through these steps, the better.

We live in a world where coaches and leaders get criticized more than ever. It is sad and unfortunate, but it is what it is.

How we respond to this and how we let it impact us defines if a leader or coach is able to stay in this profession for more than a few years.

Early stages...

It is very normal to be in your 20's, and worry about what others think. I was there and I can attest to this. I became a Varsity Basketball Coach at 26 years old and took over for a legendary Hall of Fame Basketball Coach in Minnesota.

At first, I would see parents or others in the community and I would wonder what their perception of me was. I was extra conscious of how I acted and what I said to others.

Fortunately, it did not take me long to figure out that I should not really care what others think of me. I was able to move to the "40's" mindset pretty quickly in my career. I was confident in my abilities and decisions and nothing that others could say or do could impact that. I had a trusting support system of other coaches and leaders who I could fall back on for insight and support.

The key is CONFIDENCE. I had "earned the right to be proud and confident". I had put in the time and effort. I set clear standards. I communicated well with players, parents, and the community. I knew my decisions were sound and based on what was best for the team.

This quick jump to a 40's mindset allowed me to have success as a coach. It also allowed me to get into another leadership position, school administration, at a young age as well. I became a high school principal at age 33. And the 20-40-60 rule applied even more.

Some struggle though...

Some coaches/leaders, though, are not able to navigate through the 20-40-60 Rule as quickly. Oftentimes, they don't last in their role very long. They get out of coaching or leadership roles. They fear conversations with parents, they avoid others. They avoid conflict.

Too many times, these leaders or coaches are natural "people pleasers". They see good in the world and assume or hope that everyone should think and feel that way. They do not like conflict. Unfortunately, it is impossible to hide conflict from the role of a coach or leader. It is inevitable.

Leaders and Coaches have to have a healthy approach to addressing conflict. Having a 20-40-60 Rule mindset helps a leader overcome these natural challenges of trying to make others happy.

Final stage...

The real beauty occurs when you reach the final stage of the 20-40-60 rule: "60 - you realize people were too busy thinking about themselves."

I am not near 60 yet, but I realized this 60-mindset thought years ago.

As much as I thought that others were thinking about me, or our team, or any leadership decision I make as a Coach or Principal, the reality is, that they are not. They have their own lives and most people are too busy worrying about their own families and life anyway.

And even if they are, who really cares? All we can ever control is ourselves.

🎯 I have learned to Always REMEMBER: No one is thinking about you harder than you are thinking about yourself.

The 20-40-60 Rule is critical for coaches and leaders.

The sooner you can move through the 20-40-60 RULE, the happier and more successful you will be.

Trust me.

TWO QUOTES...

"Leadership is the ability to get individuals to work together for the common good and the best possible results while at the same time letting them know they did it themselves." ~ John Wooden

"Adversity is life's greatest teacher." ~ Jeb Blount

THREE TWEETS FROM OTHERS...

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